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On Grief

I just wrote something to help a client, and I thought, perhaps it might be helpful for others. So I share it with you now. (I continue to be in awe of my clients and their willingness to show up, do the work, and be of service. They amaze me.)


"Yes, grief sucks. On every level.... AND, I’d add that it’s the key that unlocks the door to no-longer-suffering. You can only do it by doing it. I’m sorry to say. There is no magic wand. There is no prayer/invocation/mantra or spirit you can call on to avoid the grief. All you can do is move through it and ask for grace along the way. And when you get moments of reprieve from it, cherish them and embrace them fully. They are the balm that will soothe the pain...

I know it’s a hard answer to swallow or even sit with. The truth is: you can use all sorts of tools (tricks, words, etc.) to shift this, but that would be equivalent to spiritual bypassing, which means you’ll have to continually work to bypass the grief. It’s a choice you can make. But if you want the grief to go away - you have to go through...

I believe in you.... you can do this, if you choose to. Don’t fear it, if possible. It’s not a mountain, even though your heart and mind might tell you that. It’s probably the size of a mole hill, but you won’t know until you allow yourself to feel it."

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